Argggggghhh

[eggchan]

なぜ私は日本人と話すと落ちつけないの？？

悔しい！！

、、、何か、、、日本語のレッスンにいて、ハイチの地震のためにarashi_onがお金を集めてるというイベントを説明していみたけど、ゴチャゴチャになって凄い恥ずかしかった。後、レッスンから戻ってきて頭で完璧に言いたいことを言った。もう！！

何か間違うのがものすごい怖がるかもしれないから、普通に話せない。どうやってこの不安を克服すればいいの？？なぜちゃんと日本語で話せなくてもお金を払うの？

I am so frustrated with myself. Ugh.

Comments

[ohmyghost.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna write in English because I just woke up and my brain is slow like molasses <-- that's a terrible excuse, the reason is mostly "I suck"

「何か間違うのがものすごい怖がるかもしれない」
I TOTALLY FEEL YOU HERE, I always lost marks in class because I wouldn't speak up; the second I'd open my mouth I'd get such freaking butterflies and just be scared to death. In my final honours seminar for art history, there was a question I knew the answer to, and the teacher knew I knew the answer to, so when I didn't answer she just goes, "Hannah. I would have thought you could answer this." And I was sick & tired of everything so i go, "I know, but I just get scared of saying the wrong thing." lol she just goes "Well, you're kind of going to have to get over that". TOUGH LOVE.

I think my point is, it happens to everyone, and what's important when you're spending money to take these lessons is that you're learning the language: so even if you find you can't speak up during the lesson, if you can have that experience of explaining things perfectly after, that's enough. It's a frustrating experience, but you are learning, you just are unfortunately human.

useless comment is useless, but hang in there! ♥

[eggchan.livejournal.com]

D: you changed your name!!

I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only person like this. The most frustrating part to me is that I wasn't like this by the time I left Japan and now I'm back to this way all over again. I suppose I'm in a better state though, because before I honestly couldn't say ANYTHING except for "私の名前は、、" etc. All the basic stuff, because it just wouldn't come out of my mouth. Now it's not coming out of my mouth because I'm not THINKING in Japanese like I used to while I was there. :\ It's hard to do it when you have no one to talk to. Argh!

[ohmyghost.livejournal.com]

I DID, i'm sorry bb :( H-HOPEFULLY YOU WILL COME TO LOVE THIS NEW VERSION OF ME?

You are definitely not alone! I guess it's that huge difference between study and immersion, huh? :( I think someone said it in the comments (stalk, stalk) but I talk to myself in Japanese a lot, and like -- imagine what Arashi's answer to questions might be before they answer them on their tv shows. ngl, I try and force myself to think in Japanese so much that sometimes I have to remind myself I'm allowed to think in English. FORCE IT UNTIL IT AIN'T FORCED NO MORE BB ♥