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I'm really tired..
Aug. 26th, 2008 12:57 amI'm really tired and I was just about to go to sleep, and I started reading my old entries.. this thing goes back to 2001. *konk*
Anyway.. I've been in a pretty melancholy mood today. Nothing really caught my interest and I'm just very blah.
I wanted to post here to get some feelings out of my system in hopes that I'll feel better after I get them out in the open. I've been doing a lot of "real" posts lately, huh.
Well anyway.. as some of you know, I'm not exactly your model student.. sure I go to all my classes (or I try very hard to not miss any at least) and I turn in almost all my homework, but school and me just don't get along. I think the only thing I was excited about during HS was getting to hang out with my friends, and even then we didn't get a lot of time together.
Well.. as some of you may (not) know, I don't really get along with art students. I really don't know what it is, but for the most part I just don't share enough similar interests to really have friends I can hang out with on campus. That being said, I am aware that by not living on campus it's harder to make friends... I spent my first 2 years of college with no one to talk to or hang out with. I ate lunch by myself, I went to classes by myself, and I sat by myself in class. It was pretty fucking miserable and lonely.
So I feel that I am missing out on some sort of experience in my life by not living on campus. I feel like I'm just not really getting my whole "college" experience.. but I probably am. All that I'm missing is friends and going to parties, the parties I'm not so much worried about missing out on because I wouldn't be going to them anyway, but..
I guess it's mostly the friends. At the moment, I'm not dreading school because I know I'll probably be the busiest I've ever been in my life.. I'm not dreading school because I'll once again have a pile of homework or late nights.. it's going to school and being alone again. I managed to make 2 friends during my 3 1/2 years at MCAD.. and I will see one of them in 1 class. But I will be back to eating lunch by myself watching everyone else sit with their roommates and friends, walking to class alone, being in class by myself and being completely and utterly lonely. I probably look like a complete loner sitting there eating my food and watching everyone else....
I'm going to stop being emo now.
Thank you![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
xumiie for being such a good friend and reminding me.
Anyway.. I've been in a pretty melancholy mood today. Nothing really caught my interest and I'm just very blah.
I wanted to post here to get some feelings out of my system in hopes that I'll feel better after I get them out in the open. I've been doing a lot of "real" posts lately, huh.
Well anyway.. as some of you know, I'm not exactly your model student.. sure I go to all my classes (or I try very hard to not miss any at least) and I turn in almost all my homework, but school and me just don't get along. I think the only thing I was excited about during HS was getting to hang out with my friends, and even then we didn't get a lot of time together.
Well.. as some of you may (not) know, I don't really get along with art students. I really don't know what it is, but for the most part I just don't share enough similar interests to really have friends I can hang out with on campus. That being said, I am aware that by not living on campus it's harder to make friends... I spent my first 2 years of college with no one to talk to or hang out with. I ate lunch by myself, I went to classes by myself, and I sat by myself in class. It was pretty fucking miserable and lonely.
So I feel that I am missing out on some sort of experience in my life by not living on campus. I feel like I'm just not really getting my whole "college" experience.. but I probably am. All that I'm missing is friends and going to parties, the parties I'm not so much worried about missing out on because I wouldn't be going to them anyway, but..
I guess it's mostly the friends. At the moment, I'm not dreading school because I know I'll probably be the busiest I've ever been in my life.. I'm not dreading school because I'll once again have a pile of homework or late nights.. it's going to school and being alone again. I managed to make 2 friends during my 3 1/2 years at MCAD.. and I will see one of them in 1 class. But I will be back to eating lunch by myself watching everyone else sit with their roommates and friends, walking to class alone, being in class by myself and being completely and utterly lonely. I probably look like a complete loner sitting there eating my food and watching everyone else....
I'm going to stop being emo now.
Thank you
xumiie for being such a good friend and reminding me.
?